I’ve written and made videos about this subject before. It is costing us a lot other handle everything. I was talking to my husband over the weekend. I forgot to remind my son to do his laundry, so he didn’t do it. Let’s not talk about the fact that he’s grown and should be able to remember to do his own laundry. There is a lot going on in our family, and we are at the point if I don’t remember it for him, it doesn’t get done. That’s our reality.
The thing is—I can’t remember everything. I wrote about telling my family I don’t have the capacity to remember everyone’s stuff. They have to figure it out. Turns out with my son, he hasn’t figured it out.
As as mom, I feel guilty about not remembering HIS laundry. I feel bad his work clothes are dirty—let’s not forget that I taught him how to do his laundry when he was 12, and I’m not sure how he got off his once a week schedule.
The point of all this, many women are in a similar situation. Maybe not with their grown son’s laundry, but they are expected to
remember everything
handle everything
say yes
fill the gaps
be dependable
not ask, “Do I actually want to?”
From all I’ve been writing about and sharing on Substack and social media, here is what I need you to take away and carry with you:
Being capable doesn’t mean everything belongs to you.
Yes, I know I keep telling you to let go and not carry everything. If you take that golden nugget of information with you, then you’ll let go of several things that aren’t yours to carry.
GenX and Elder Millennials were fed that to succeed they needed to do it all. I just watched a video on this (somewhere on social media). We were told to have a clean house. Cook for our families. Work. Be a loving wife. Be a good friend—do things with female friends.
The advent of social media upped the game because now women were opening competing with other women with children’s birthday parties, house decor, etc.
I want to say that we are capable of doing anythings and everything we want to. We are bad ass and up for a challenge. That doesn’t mean we have to. We need to carry what belongs to us and hold space for what we value.
We definitely don’t need to compete. Life is not a competition.
I know some of you are just as tired as me. Your hormones are everywhere. There are things you don’t care about anymore (because they weren’t important to begin with).
It’s time to create a life that supports you. That’s life on the B-Side.
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